Richard Clark:

Good effort! Good simple compositions! Character designs are good!

However, your story is a bit confusing. Why is the male character hugging the bear so vehemently at the end of shot 1? Is that what he wants?

In shot 2, why is there a blue circle on the bottom of the girl's eye? Is that a stye or is that supposed to be a tear? And I don't get the gameboy and why she is using her fork to point at it? Is she putting something in her mouth at frame 149?

Then there is the disconnect with the girls pose from shot 2 to 3. She now doesn't have the fork in hand but both hands on the gameboy.

And what's with the cake on the table? Is that what they are arguing about and wanting or is it the gameboy? It's not clear.

Lip sync is off and needs improvement. At times it's a bit ambiguous.

I'm not a real fan of characters who just go to one pose then speak and then move to another pose.

Paul Lange:

I appreciated new details each time I rewatched it. You set up a nice stand off scenario.